2014

Kinda want to try to do one of these every year.

 

1. What was the single best thing that happened this past year?

Guess it was getting work over the summer being paid to actually make art for the first time in my life.

 

2. What was the single most challenging thing that happened?

Their has been quite a lot but I guess realizing that no matter how much love and kindness you show someone or how much you were always there for them in their lives. They can forget it all instantly and act like everything you ever did meant nothing to them overnight.

 

3. What was an unexpected joy this past year?

Guess again not expecting something I did artistically would be received well and help others in the process.

That my Sister started speaking to my Mum again.

That I didn’t have cancer.

 

4. What was an unexpected obstacle?

My dog dying.

Caring and feeling to much.

Not caring or feeling enough.

My shyness.

Fearing for my safety and rights because I am female.

Having my yearly mental breakdown usually during winter months.

 

5. Pick three words to describe 2014.

Surprising,breathing,loss.

 

6. What were the best books you read this year?

Wonder by R.J.Palacio, How to be a woman by Caitlin Moran, and currently reading The art of asking by Amanda Palmer which I already know will be a fave.

 

7. With whom were your most valuable relationships?

My parents, My friends, My Nephew, Alistair. 

 

8. What was your biggest personal change from January to December of this past year?

Seeing how capable and strong I can really be when it comes to university work and when the people I love hurt me. 

 

9. In what way(s) did you grow emotionally?

Seeing and admitting that I don’t deserve to be treated badly even standing up for myself  which was the hardest thing to do because it was my friends doing it to me. Knowing my limits and taking breaks away from people and situations I find stressful.

 

10. In what way(s) did you grow spiritually?

Talked probably about religion more than I ever had in my life. Nearly got tricked into accepting one from scaremongering. It’s not the right time or place if I ever allow one into my life.

 

11. In what way(s) did you grow physically?

My skin and my skin care routine was the best it’s ever been since before my teens this year apart from stressful times. I really love my body and surprised how great it looks sometimes. I have been a lot more stiff and sore this year especially with back problems and from puppeteering.

 

12. In what way(s) did you grow in your relationships with others?

I grew closer to a few friends even more than I knew possible. That it’s al right to let them in to help me when I’m broken. Let people see me at my worst. Was just honest with people more about how I was really feeling especially about my mental illness. Let people see that they upset me and would try to sort it out with them instead of hiding it.

 

13. What was your single biggest time waster in your life this past year?

Grieving for friends.

Depression.

 

14. What was the best way you used your time this past year?

Volunteering at a art group, Making art that is dear to my heart that can help others, Spending time with my friends and my family, Addressing personal issues.

 

15. What was the biggest thing you learned this past year?

That I should of listened to myself 6 years ago to not make friends ever again. It’s not worth the heartache when I lose them. But it’s helped me learn to try my best to keep the ones I do have. That stigma in mental illness and in the art world has a long way to go.

 

If anyone else does this to please send me your answers :)

Euphoria tornado

Secretly I have been experimenting with body movement and listening to music when I can't sleep which is often. Not just using my body for dancing which is a happy past time but using my physical and mental ability to express movement and emotion based on each audio track.

Tonight was very profound from start to finish of a certain song my whole being was a euphoria tornado. My movements and emotions very intense I had forgot everything around me and everything that ever mattered. It was just my body and soul, pulsing and twitching to the audio pumping into my ears. Very much so that I scratched my limbs and skin raw but not so much to escape but that the audio made me, nay it commanded me!

It was not planned or expected it was purely my body and emotions carrying me on this small journey which felt like a lifetime but was only a couple of minutes. It was all that mattered and ever mattered in those moments it felt like my body created a void for it and it's all that ever was.

Some sort of artistic ecstasy I have never known, maybe others have felt this before?

Maybe it should be continued as performance art but it doesn't feel like it's something than can be contained.

update - ness

I don't feel pressured to post an update after the last one which I think is a good thing since not many people visit my little blog. But I do keep popping on other peoples blogs and enjoying them but quietly.
My lack of posts is because of university but I've finished my work for the semester and will be getting results soon. I kinda do want to start blogging again but not going to put pressure on myself to do so.
Got some other exciting projects planned for the summer so looking forward to them maybe I'll let you guys see. :)

Hey peeps sorry for lack of blogage

Hey guys just wanted to say sorry for the lack of blogs for a while my depression came back and haunted me for a while which stops me from doing much of anything. I'm perking up again and hope to blog more things soon as I have been still documenting everything. Have some stuff to do with University so I better get on that. Hope you've all been doing well and thank you all for all the lovely comments! <3

Family time plus Shopping plus Art show plus Culture plus Ghosts

So much stuff has happened this week that it's crazy and I feel so lucky to be kicking it around in life and enjoying it. 

I went home last weekend to see my folks and we ended up getting the nieces for a sleepover. 
My nieces are really sweet and cool I like to teach them how to make things and draw with them. I don't get to see them very often and often hope there al right growing up without me around them for advice cause I remember how troubled I was growing up. Kids do tire you out though that might just be me getting old though ha ha. We had a movie and craft night and it was a lot of fun Pj's were for the win!

The next day after a fun night with the kids I got to see my sister and she gave me belated birthday cards and it's always lovely to see her. :) My parents fancied a day out in Glasgow so we took a wee trip in and they took me to Yo Sushi. Which is my fav place to eat ever ever ever! Have to give my parents credit since it's not the kinda place or food they really enjoy but they actually tried things this time which was exciting! The food was amazing as always my folks had never seen me eat so enthusiastically and I'm so grateful they took me as I never get to go to a Yo Sushi except around my bday.

We also did some clothes shopping I'm always a sucker for bargains and have not bought any new clothes for myself for a good while. I got both these for three pounds each. I actually love the skirt it flares out and is just the right shape for me and the see through top is so comfy and surprisingly warm!

RIGHT! on to the important stuff I now have my work for sale and show at Bar Ten in Glasgow it's on till February the 16th! This event was made possible by the wonderful Artist's collective 'Any 'And Or'

The Event page

Bar Ten

Any And Or blog

My work in the show!

My Facebook art page

If any you guys are near Glasgow pop in for a wee while and have a wee drink at the bar and enjoy some art!

It was such an awesome night we didn't get to stay very long but it was so exciting to see my work getting looked at by the public. I get really nervous and scared when I put my work out there and I dunno why. Might be because I'm still getting used to doing that exposing yourself as an artist and your work can be quite a daunting thing. I mean your showing parts of yourself and parts your expressing of your inner most passions, fears and dreams and you've put it down in visual form for all to see it's quite extraordinary.

Then the next day I was off to the beautiful city of Edinburgh to see War horse a dear friend of mine invited me to go with him and we had such a great time. We got to eat at a cute little Cafe right next to the theatre we are going to be doing a puppet project together so he he felt it would be good for me to see.

Oh my it was so beautiful I cried so much I only knew the story of War Horse but was not expecting all the puppetry and effects. It made me so happy to be alive to witness such a beautiful masterpiece I was so lucky to go see it. If you guys like puppets and deep subject matters then please go see it you will love it so much!

Weirdly enough me and a lot of friends have been on the subjects of Ghosts and spirits quite a lot and at my friends yesterday we ended up talking about Ouija boards and ways to contact the dead. This conversation ended up leading us to making one and trying it out.

Now I've never really dabbled in the paranormal I did what most British folk do and settled down once a week at night to watch Most Haunted on the Tele with my parents. I'm quite a logical person and like to think I know better when it comes to tricks and natural occurrences. Even though I have experienced quite a few paranormal things happening to me over time and still have no explanation to them. I used to believe in spirits quite a bit and I guess I still do to a degree but sometimes I think it can just be our own minds or belief's that we want to believe in something beyond so badly.

So I had no idea what I was doing with an Ouija boards when I remembered the day before talking to my Christian friend how I would never do one. But curiosity got the better of me and I gave it a go and it was a really good experience. We apparently made 'contact' with someone and got to ask them lots of interesting questions and we followed all the rules and weren't disrespectful.

How about you guys?

 Do you believe in Ghosts or an afterlife? Any weird experiences happened to you?

In other news my poor dog might have to be put down next week and it's hitting me harder than I thought it would. And my depression has been creeping up on me more when I thought it had gone so the last couple of days have been a bit rough.

I hope you guys have a good weekend and I'll need to check out your blogs soon.

Take care

Debz

xxx

Capricorn baby adventures and some recent changes

Hey guys a lot of things have been happening in the last couple of weeks it's sorta been a whirlwind of activity. First off it was my birthday on the 4rth of January so I got spoiled rotten yet again right after Christmas. Had a little get together at my flat with some friends just a quiet one but we played games and ate food and peeps brought me some things it was lovely.!

After a lot of thinking and weighing out my options over the holidays I decided to leave my crummy part time job. And I feel so good about it's unreal and have actually been so busy and upbeat from this one simple change that it's so positive and been a lot happier! :D

I'm now back at university at this week and it's already really daunting but very exciting and the first day after quitting my job I already got invited to sell prints at an exhibition! And already got some other art projects on the way which is exactly what I wanted and can't wait to do as much projects as I can.

So it's been catching up with old friends over dinner and some partying but the day after my birthday a good friend of mine and her boyfriend took me on a car trip so we could take photography pictures together. :)

We went looking for sea lion's along a beach but it is rather cold here so it must not been a good time of year to see them but I loved the trip so much the place was beautiful.

There was a lot of old war and fisherman buildings along the beach so the place had a lot of history which is always awesome to find. This little place above was to keep fish back in the day and it said bats usually roost inside there. We found a little opening which was pitch black and we were all daring each other to take pictures with flash on inside was pretty funny and scary but nothing happened.

So indeed ladies and gents I'm in a good place just now and a great start to 2014 and excited to see where I'll go creatively this year. Ally also gave me a haircut so I have boyish hair again which I love feels so much better waaaaaah!

Heres a wee cheeky outfit post taken on my birthday hope you like my attractive slipper socks!

Dress: Charity shop

Jumper: George Asda (Christmas gift)

Tights: Primark

I'll try to update you guys soon about the exhibition which is next week and I hope your new years have started out great for you too!

Take care

love

Debz

xxx